STILL FOR BETTER FOR WORSE

Dearly Beloved, STILL FOR BETTER FOR WORSE “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed” (Genesis 2:24-25, KJV). Why is it that many people nowadays do not want to hear the expression “For Better For Worse”? Could this have contributed to the common cases of divorce, separation, unresolved marital conflicts, and even spouse murder these days? The idea of “For Better For Worse” in marriage has to do with a pivotal issue that most people do not take note of, and this is ruining many marriages today. This issue is “leaving and cleaving” in marriage. The Bible says that a man will leave his parents (and by inference all other relations) and cleave to (or preferably unite with) his wife. The man puts aside his former relationships and way of living and thinking, and starts a new relationship, and a new way of living and thinking with his wife who is now one with him. It has to be emphasized here that to cleave in this context means to be glued together for life. That is, the man and his wife are together “for better for worse” for life! That is the original plan of God for marriage. The man and his wife cleave together, they become one, and they are not ashamed in spite of their “nakedness.” Have you ever wondered about the nature of this “nakedness”? Any attempt to separate this gluing or cleaving together will result in emotional damage to each of the partners, and by extension, their relations and friends, and even the children born out of the union. The more we are ready to understand this and accept it, the better our marriages in particular and the society in general will be. The implication of this is that any man or woman that wants to enter into this relationship should do so with extra care. It “must not be entered into carelessly, or from selfish motives, but responsibly, and prayerfully” as stated in a marriage declaration. This is because marriage is one of the oldest institutions created by God, and He has many reasons for instituting it. Similarly, there are many guidelines for an ideal marriage. One has to know and follow these reasons and guidelines to the letter if one wants to maintain the ideal marriage as it was originally in the mind of God. It is unfortunate, however, that people now create different reasons and guidelines for marriage. No wonder, many marriages are in shambles, and cases of divorce and remarriage are common, especially in the western world, even among Christians! My first and only marriage with my darling wife was twenty years old some days ago! This is not a big deal to many people in this part of the world where the institution of marriage is still held in high esteem. However, it is a great feat or rather something unimaginable to many people in the western world. I have been cleaved to my wife (and she has been cleaved to me) for the past twenty years, and both of us were, and still are, not ashamed of each other because we have determined to live for life for better for worse. Ours is not a perfect marriage. There is never one! We have determined to enjoy life together, and to endure it together for better for worse, even after twenty years in marriage. Are you married? Let there be no shame in your marriage. Be determined to cleave to your spouse for life. Are you still single? Do not rush into any relationship and pray that the Lord will help you to be able to have an ideal marriage as He originally planned it. Is your marriage in crisis? Go back to the original plan of God for marriage. Deliberately cleave to your spouse. Then, ask God for help. He will help you if you allow Him. An ideal marriage is still for better for worse! That is the bitter truth. In His service, Bayo Afolaranmi (Pastor). Prayer Points: 1. Pray for my over-twenty-year-old marriage with my beloved wife that the Lord will enable us to continue to cleave together in love for better for worse till death do us apart. 2. Pray that you will have a marriage where both you and your spouse will be able to cleave together in love for better for worse till death do you apart. 3. Pray for unmarried young ones that they will not enter into marriage carelessly, or from selfish motives, but responsibly, and prayerfully. 4. Pray for marriages presently in crisis that the Lord will help the partners in the marriage to resolve the crisis and determine to cleave together in love for better for worse till death do them apart. NB This message is dedicated to my dearest wife, Opeyemi, for sharing her life “for better for worse” with me for these past twenty years.